Among the artifacts found in the tomb of Zhu Ran, the highest-ranked officer of the Three Kingdoms period (220-280) to date whose tomb has been discovered and excavated, was one scroll of particular literary and musical interest. It is a sing-along booklet for a musical called “A Briefe Hystorye of Oure Realme”, performed at the court of Sun Quan, ruler of the Wu kingdom, on the eve of the 29th anniversary of the Battle of Chibi. Since the battle happened in the twenty-first day of the eleventh of the thirteenth year of the Jian’an reign, the year of this presentation must have been AD 237 (6th year of the Jiahe “Glad Harvest” reign of Sun Quan). The twenty-first day of the eleventh month of that year corresponds to December 25 by Western reckoning.
While the exact melodies and instrumental accompaniment of the songs cannot be determined, researchers have found that the rhythm of the verses bears a striking resemblence to that of the verses of contemporary Christmas carols. Since such a close match can hardly be accidental, the scholars conjecture that these tunes originated from southern China and were brought to the West through marine trade routes. The rapid spread of the popularity of the music is hardly surprising, given rampant piracy (music and otherwise) on the southern waters after the demise of Wu.
The contents of this scroll is certain to be of interest to comparative world music scholars and Three Kingdoms enthusiasts alike. Hopefully one day the complete stage directions and production notes will be found, lending more insight to the controversial historiographical practices of the Wu kingdom as well as to the development of the genre of musicals in Chinese literary history.
Author:
Zhang Jiao, Zhang Bao, Zhang Liang:
City sidewalk, empty sidewalks
Ruined by eunuchs corrupt.
In the air there’s
a feeling of dissention.
Children starving, people dying,
Evil omens in the sky;
And on every street corner you’ll hear:
“Yellow Scarves, Yellow Scarves,
It’s rebellion time in the country!
Hear their cries, see them rise,
soon a new reign shall begin!”
Author:
Liu Bei, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei:
We three brothers, at Peach Garden vow
To share our lives should Heaven allow.
Three men, one heart—til death do us part!
This we swear solemnly now:
Oh—oh!
Han the royal, Han the right
Han who awed all with her might!
For you we’ll stand, give our all, and
The Yellow Scarves put to flight.
Liu Bei:
Bei’s my name, and Xuande’s my style.
You could see my ears from a mile.
Twin swords wielding, armies fielding,
To save Han from every trial.
Guan Yu:
I’m Yunchang, a great beard I boast.
Mess with me, and you shall be toast.
Red horse, red face, green robe, green blade
Feared by all, mountain to coast!
Zhang Fei:
Zhang Yide here—I came from Yan.
Fight with me now if you’re a man!
Serpant spear shall kill all near,
And uphold the Han clan.
Liu Bei, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei:
Oh—oh!
Han the royal, Han the right,
Han who awed all with her might!
For you we’ll stand, give our all, and
The Yellow Scarves put to flight.
Author:
Han officers:
What child is this
That came to rule
The Court of Han, now failing?
Whom, orphaned young—
Oft on the run—
Now Dong Zhuo’s forces are keeping.
This, this, is Emperor Xian,
Who from the evil eunuchs ran.
Haste, haste, to bring him aid,
The helpless Son of Heaven.
Author:
Sun Jian:
O Seal of Jade,
O Seal of Jade,
From Luoyang’s well is shining!
O Seal of Jade,
O Seal of Jade,
From Luoyang’s well is shining!
Not only in the Qin you shone,
In Han too did you rule the throne.
O Seal of Jade,
O Seal of Jade,
From Luoyang’s well is shining!
Author:
Yuan Shu:
All I want from Sun Ce is the Seal of Jade,
The Seal of Jade, the Seal of Jade.
Gee if I could only have the Seal of Jade,
Then I could call myself the Emperor!
It seems so long since there has been
A brilliant emperor all could admire;
Gosh, oh gee, how happy I would be
If I can rule the empire!
All I want from Sun Ce is the Seal of Jade,
The Seal of Jade, the Seal of Jade.
Gee if I could only have the Seal of Jade,
Then I could call myself the Emperor!
Author:
Zhang Xiu:
I saw Auntie kissing Cao Mengde
Underneath the city walls last night.
Now I know that creep
Saw my Auntie through a peep;
He must have thought that I
Was dumb and half the time asleep!
Then
I saw Auntie walking Cao Mengde
Towards his tent in view of full moonlight!
Oh
How angry he would have been
If Uncle had only seen
Auntie kissing Cao Mengde last night!
Author:
Cao Cao’s envoys:
We wish that you would surrender,
We wish that you would surrender,
We wish that you would surrender,
And bow to Cao Cao!
Now give us some Southland goodies,
Now give us some Southland goodies,
Now give us some Southland goodies,
Please bring them right now!
We won’t go until we get some,
We won’t go until we get some,
We won’t go until we get some,
Or we’ll fight you, we vow!
These tidings we bring
To you and your kin:
You’d do best if you’d surrender,
And bow to Cao Cao !
Author:
Huang Gai and his mariners:
Deck the boats with oil and kindling,
Fa la la la la, la la la la!
For this hour we’ve been waiting,
Fa la la la la, la la la la!
Take we now our spears and arrows,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la!
Cao’s men shall see no tomorrow!
Fa la la la la, la la la la!
Author:
Cao Cao:
I saw three ships come sailing in,
Come sailing in, come sailing in,
I saw three ships come sailing in,
On Solstice day in the morning.
And what was in those ships all three
On Solstice day, on Solstice day?
And what was in those ships all three
On Solstice day in the morning?
The ones who will hand Wu to us,
Hand Wu to us, hand Wu to us.
The ones who will hand Wu to us,
On Solstice day in the morning!
Author:
Zhou Yu:
Oh, the southeast wind is frightful,
But the fire is so delightful,
And since Cao Mengde has to go,
Let it blow, let it blow, let it blow.
Xiao Qiao:
It doesn’t show signs of stopping,
You can hear their topsails popping
Their morale got way down low,
Let it blow, let it blow, let it blow.
Zhou Yu:
When I finally leave to fight,
How I’ll hate to be out in the storm;
But if you really hold me tight,
In the depths of my heart I’ll be warm.
Xiao Qiao:
The enemy in hoards are dying,
And, my dear, we’re still good-bye-ing,
But as long as you love me so,
Let it blow, let it blow, let it blow.
Author:
Gan Ning’s followers:
Dashing through the realm,
With halberds in our hands,
And Gan Ning at the helm—
Our gang of foul brigands!
We’d plunder everything,
And kill all in our sight.
What fun it is to rob and sing
A slaying song tonight!
Oh... Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Gan Ning’s on his way.
Oh what fun it is to scare
The townsfolk all away—hey!
Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Gan Ning’s on his way.
Oh what fun it is to scare
The townsfolk all away!
Author:
Townsfolk:
Hark how the bells,
Damn silver bells,
All seem to say,
“He’s on his way!”
Gan Ning is near,
Bringing great fear
To young and old,
Meek and the bold.
Ding dong ding dong,
That is their song.
Madder they ring
Than anything.
One seems to hear
Bells that strike fear
From everywhere
Filling the air.
Oh how they pound,
Raising the sound,
O’er hill and dale,
Telling their tale,
Ringing with glee
while people flee
Bells that strike fear—
Gan Ning is here.
Run oh run oh run oh quickly a—way!
Run oh run oh run oh quickly a—way!
On on they send,
On without end,
A warning tone to every home—
Ding, dong, ding, dong...
Bohm!
Author:
Wu mothers:
You better watch out, you better not cry,
You better not pout—I’m telling you why:
Zhang Wenyuan is coming to town.
He’s got his commands, and checking them twice,
Gotta find out when to strike would be nice:
Zhang Wenyuan is coming to town.
He’ll kill you when you’re sleeping,
He’ll kill you when you’re awake,
He’ll cross the River if you’re bad,
So be good, for goodness’ sake!
Oh! You better watch out, you better not cry,
You better not pout—I’m telling you why:
Zhang Wenyuan is coming to town.
Author:
Lü Meng:
‘Twas in the moon of winter time,
When all the troops have fled.
The mighty Tiger Guan Yunchang
Was on the run instead.
And when the distant campfires die,
The wandering warrior heard the cry,
“Jingzhou, your base, is gone,
Jingzhou is gone!
Come and join Wu right away!”
Author:
Wu troops:
Shu troops roasting over an open fire,
Lu Xun nipping at their tails.
Liu Bei’s men fled, and ere soon they would tire,
Fearing ambush on all the trails.
Everybody knows the mighty
Generals of Wu
Will put up a terrific fight.
Riverland men, whom our army pursue,
Will never get to Baidi tonight.
They know that Sun Quan’s on his way,
He’s leading lots of boats
And soldiers here today.
And all from general to common spy
Shall witness haughty
King of Shu, Liu Xuande, fly.
And so we’re offering this simple phrase
To all from one to ninety-two—
Although it’s been said
many times, many ways:
There’s no better state than Wu!
Author:
Wu officers:
You know Zhou Yu and Cheng Pu,
And Lu Su and Zhu Huan,
Zhuge Jin, Bu Zhi,
and Lü Meng and Zhu Ran,
But do you recall
The most famous strategist of all?
Lu Xun, the bright young scholar,
Had a very brilliant mind (“Like a campfire!”)
And if you ever met him,
He will have you feel outshined. (“Like the sunlight!”)
None of the other warriors,
Thought he had much battle fame. (“Like Lü Fengxian!”)
They wouldn’t let poor Boyan
Join their military games. (“Like Battleship!”)
Then when Liu Bei marched this way,
Sun Quan came to say, (“Ho, ho, ho!”)
“Boyan with your mind so bright,
Won’t you guide my men to fight?”
Then how the warriors loved him,
As they shouted out with glee, (“Yippee!”)
“Lu Xun, the bright young scholar,
You’ll go down in history!” (“Like Zhang Zifang!”)
Author:
Liu Bei:
I’m dreaming of a Han Empire
Just like the one I used to know
Where the people prosper
And rites are proper
As wished by sages long ago.
I’m dreaming of a Han Empire
And on my deathbed now I write:
May your reign be august and bright,
And may all your subjects be upright.
Author:
All:
Sun Quan, the emp’ror,
Was a jolly happy soul,
With a purple beard,
And green-coloured eyes,
He’s got Wu under control.
The kingdom of Sun-Wu
Was a fairytale they say,
Though from status low—
But we Wuists know—
It did rise to pow’r one day.
There must have been some magic
In that Seal of Jade they found.
When Sun Jian took it in his hands,
The family’s fortunes turned around!
O! Sun Quan the emp’ror
Is as cool as there could be.
The en’my he confronts,
He goes on tiger-hunts,
And drinks more than you or me.
Thumpety thump thump,
Thumpety thump thump,
Look at Sun Quan go.
Thumpety thump thump,
Thumpety thump thump,
Trampling over the foe!
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