Dear Gan Ning,
I am not sure you can read this letter but I will send it to you anyways. It has been brought to my concern that you have been terrorizing Zhou Tai into giving you massages and styling your hair. I don’t believe this rumor but I do believe that you are taking advantage of our fellow Wu citizens.
“In my opinion, you need to get out of Wu before you screw something up or get everyone killed. And please stop asking me to make out with you. So go awa-”
I am sorry that Shang Xiang could not resist the urge to write her opinions all over this letter but I am sure you will ignore it. As I was saying, I believe that you need to stop threatening the villagers and picking their crops. It is rude and dishonest, not to mention a waste of the labor of the people of Wu.
“Yeah. Just go away! Listen to my little sister! She’s write! We don’t want you hear in Wu! You make us look bad. Anyways if I sea you neer Shang Xiang ever again I’m gonna kick you into next weak!”
This is getting ridiculous. It now appears my brother cannot resist the temptation to state his opinions on my letter. I also need to let you know that some of the generals in Wu find your outer appearance rather intimidating. I would advise you to please wear a full shirt with long sleeves in order to remedy this problem.
“I know this has nothing to do with me but I just don’t like that Gan Ning character around me! He makes me feel rather uncomfortable, as whenever I go to participate in the ‘hanging out’ with Sun Shang Xiang and Xiao Qiao, he is watching us.”
Now I am sick of this. My sister in law Da Qiao as well! I swear that if I see anyone writing comments on this letter I will force them to watch an educational program! I will even
“Hey everyone It’s me, Xiao Qiao! I wanted to say that GAN NING is a jerk and I don’t wanna have to even LOOK at him!! Bleh!”
“Yes, I must agree with my wife on this matter. I believe Wu will be a better place without that F&*&*&* ruffian hanging around the place.”
To continue my note, please read my comments, NOT the other ones, and please heed to them. It would help you become more popular among the generals, strategists, rulers, and people of Wu. If you’ll excuse me, I have to go hurt Xiao Qiao and Zhou Yu.
Copyright © 2004 Jennifer Aziz