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Fate of a Rebel, A Destiny of an Emperor Parody

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A Destiny of an Emperor parody by Taishi Ci 2.0. Follow Liu Bei, brothers Guan Yu and Zhang Fei, and his band of dysfunctional followers including Song Yong, Song Ren, and Huo Hu, master of ‘powders’, as they battle the other warlords of China to restore the Han Dynasty.

Letter from Taishi Ci 2.0

This comic is based on the old NES Capcom game, Destiny of an Emperor. This RTK-based game focused on Liu Bei and the kingdom of Shu, although it has some deviations from the usual novel storyline. Even if you haven’t played the game, I’ve tried to set up the story so that you should be able to get an idea of what’s going on as long as you know the RTK plot.

The inspiration for making this grew out of some initial efforts on a novel-based parody, a few chapters of which you can find on my thread in the Scholars of Shen Zhou forums. However, after working on that for a bit, I decided to go beyond yet another RTK parody and try and do something using the Destiny of an Emperor storyline. Trying to work with the novel characters, you have to stick with the major characters for most of your story, and since they all have traditional personalities, trying to deviate too much from them can be awkward.

However, things become easier when using DoaE characters. Sure, you still have the main characters from the book, but their minimal amount of lines, combined with the many minor characters, gives you more room to work with. And then there are characters who are completely fictional, like Huo Hu and the Song Brothers, which lets me give them pretty much whatever personalities I like.

So, whether you like Destiny of an Emperor, Romance of the Three Kingdoms, or just want to laugh at the comics, hopefully you will enjoy reading these.

Taishi Ci 2.0

Scene 1: Beginning

Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei:
Although we were born on different days, we hope to die in the same hour of the same day of the same year. On our very souls, we pledge that this will be true.

Zhang Fei:
So, do this make us Super Best Friends now?

Liu Bei’s Mom:
Alright you punks, get out of my house. A bunch of rebels are running around causing trouble, and you need to make something of yourself, so go kill them all. Don’t come back until your house is bigger than mine.

Liu Bei:
Hey guys, guess what? We’re going to go end the Yellow Turban Rebellion!

Guan Yu:
That sounds like a good time. I suppose your mother gave us everything we need to start a war?

Liu Bei:
Hmmm...looks like all we have is three Flails, two Robes, and a Dagger. That sounds like enough. Let’s go save the Han!

Guan Yu and Zhang Fei:
.......

Liu Bei:
What’s the matter, guys?

Guan Yu:
Look, we’re not going to be saving anything if that’s all we’ve got. I mean, to even stand a chance, we’d need a wealthy merchant willing to spend all their money on soldiers and a couple of bottom-of-the-barrel officers with nothing to lose.

Zhang Shi Ping:
Hi! I’m a wealthy merchant willing to spend all my money on soldiers!

Song Yong and Song Ren:
Hi! We’re a couple of bottom-of-the-barrel officers with nothing to lose!

Liu Bei:
You were saying?

Guan Yu:
I hate you so much.

After some shopping and equipping, the brothers and their ragtag army leave town to march to Xuzhou. When suddenly...

Rebel Force:
Hey, we’re going to attack you now. Prepare to die.

Zhang Fei:
Oh great, enemies already. I’m sure we’ll never see these guys again.

Liu Bei and co. slowly defeat some of the Rebel Forces.

Liu Bei:
Isn’t there a faster way to do this? Like, I dunno, some kind of all-out attack?

Song Yong and Song Ren:
You mean something that would make the battles go by quicker? No such thing.

Liu Bei and his army reach Xuzhou, and proceed to steal everything from people’s houses that could possibly be used. One of these people actually speaks to Liu Bei.

Mi Zhe:
Is there a reason you’re stealing my stuff?

Liu Bei:
We need it in order to fight the Yellow Turbans. Want to join our army?

Mi Zhe:
Oh sure, I was tired of living anyway.

Liu Bei goes to meet Tao Qian, the ruler of Xuzhou.

Tao Qian:
Ah, Liu Bei. I hear you want to defeat the Yellow Turbans. I have tried for many years to do so, but I fear I am becoming too old.

Liu Bei:
But the Yellow Turbans have only been around for a few months or so.

Tao Qian:
....quiet, you. Anyway, if you manage to defeat them, I will give you my castle.

Zhang Fei:
You’re just an old man. What’s stopping us from killing you right now and taking the castle ourselves?

Tao Qian:
Er...because, then you would not be fufilling the DESTINY OF AN EMPEROR.

Liu Bei:
Ooh, that sounds important. We should do what he says.

Zhang Fei:
Wait, what? No. You haven’t explained anything. You can’t just say random things like that and expect--

Tao Qian:
Or I could just send the guards after you.

Guan Yu:
That works for me.

Liu Bei’s army marches north to liberate Qingzhou from the Yellow Turbans.

Next: 2: Attack on Qingzhou

Destiny of an Emperor Parody is Copyright © 2006, Taishi Ci 2.0. All rights reserved.

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March 7, 2014